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Milhouse Mussolini Van Houten is a fictional 10 year old character featured in the animated television series The Simpsons, voiced by Pamela Hayden. He is Bart Simpson's best friend in Mrs. Krabappel's fourth grade class at Springfield Elementary School. The only child of Kirk and Luann Van Houten, Milhouse's most distinctive physical traits are his extreme nearsightedness (depicted by very small eyes), requiring thick glasses to correct, and a huge nose about the size of a softball.
ProfileMilhouse is constantly victimized in some form or another such as frequently being the target of the bullies Jimbo Jones, Dolph, and Kearney. They often inflict extreme acts of physical violence upon Milhouse. One instance had the bullies wrapping Milhouse in bumper stickers and placing him in a shopping cart. After Jimbo claimed that "the mummy's ready for his mystical journey!", the bullies pushed the cart with Milhouse inside down a very steep hill. He frequently visited a female psychiatrist called Dr. Waxler until she got fed up by his frequent callings. Milhouse is also the subject of Nelson's cruelty: "stop (hitting, zapping, etc.) yourself." On one occasion, Bart got Milhouse placed on the America's Most Wanted list, even though they are friends. This kind of torture is used in many episodes, where Bart tries to either get Milhouse in trouble or hurt for no reason, making Milhouse's and Bart's relationship even worse. Perhaps due to his name (see below), the writers frequently make Milhouse the butt of a variety of jokes, ranging from being beat up by Nelson for delivering a love note from Lisa (that Nelson thought was from Milhouse himself), to having the door slammed in his face while playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey, to having his possible budding homosexuality given away by his school counselor, to making him a wanted fugitive (see above), to inadvertently inheriting Bart's dismal permanent record at school through a side deal arranged between Bart and Edna Krabappel and Principal Skinner, which will disqualify Milhouse from "all but the hottest and noisiest jobs".
Romance and sexualityMilhouse harbors a hopeless crush on Bart's younger sister, Lisa, and he is usually clumsy around females. However, in a flashback in "Lisa's Sax" (during the time that Bart and Milhouse were in kindergarten), a school counselor accidentally revealed that he had assessed Milhouse to be gay, and indeed, the show often implies Milhouse may be homosexual despite his attraction to Lisa. In the episode "Lisa's Wedding," it is implied that Lisa loses her virginity to Milhouse, but according to Marge, "Milhouse doesn't count." Milhouse has exhibited a tendency to begin acting rather ridiculously masculine, complete with clichéd catch phrases and mannerisms. This case of social anxiety has lost him Lisa's heart three times, as well as a relationship with Rainier Wolfcastle's daughter. Milhouse's first girlfriend was Samantha Stanky, a new student who had moved to Springfield from Phoenix, Arizona in the episode "Bart's Friend Falls in Love". After her father caught her and Milhouse kissing, he sent her to a Catholic girls' school. Skills and talentsMilhouse is fluent in Italian due to visiting his English-language-hating grandmother Sofia in Tuscany for two weeks every year. His uncle Bastardo (translated to English means "Bastard") was the illegitimate child of Milhouse's grandmother and a U.S. Army soldier during World War II. Due to his grandmother's beatings, Milhouse learned Italian and started to wet his bed. Milhouse is allergic to honey, wheat, dairy, non-dairy, and his own tears (though he cries even when he has a remainder in long division). He also says that real milk can kill him (though when Homer hands him rat's milk he drinks it). He has also demonstrated that he is a skilled Vespa rider, although he is obviously not legally entitled to operate a scooter on public roads. It is also in this episode that Milhouse had come closest to wooing Lisa, as she even kept a picture of Milhouse in her room while practicing Italian. It is implied that she is captivated by his impressive command of the language during a rather romantic outing to the local Italian immigrant establishment. However, he once again reaches a roadblock due to his ongoing fatal flaw when it comes to girls. In "Pranksta Rap", Milhouse was on a drill team in the parade. NameMilhouse was named after Richard Nixon (whose middle name was Milhous), and most likely the street named Van Houten Avenue in Portland, Oregon (where Matt Groening grew up). An alternate theory suggests his surname is taken from Charles Manson follower Leslie Van Houten, possibly because that would make his first and last names relate to newsworthy people of the late 1960s. As his middle name (established in "The Last of the Red Hat Mamas") is Mussolini, presumably his mother's side of the family is Italian, while his father's side, judging from the last name, is likely Dutch. The family name was first used in the third season episode "Homer Defined". The futureIn various episodes set in the future, Milhouse has been seen as a balding manager at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, a Cabinet secretary to President Lisa Simpson, and (in Bart's words) a teenaged "emotionally-crippled mini-hulk". It has also been suggested that Milhouse will betray Bart, causing severe religious turmoil one thousand years later. If the predictions made by a fortune teller in "Lisa's Wedding" come to pass, Lisa may also lose her virginity to Milhouse, but, according to Marge, he "doesn't count". Other futures show him either dating Lisa, or implying that he did at some point. See also
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