Characters from Strangers With Candy

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This is a list of characters from the Comedy Central original program Strangers with Candy.

Contents 1 Main Characters 1.1 Geraldine "Jerri" Antonia Blank 1.2 Mr. Geoffrey Jellineck 1.3 Mr. Charles "Chuck" Noblet 1.4 Principal Onyx Blackman 1.5 Guy Blank 1.6 Sara Blank 1.7 Derrick Blank 1.8 Orlando Pinatubo 1.9 Tammi Littlenut 2 Minor Characters 2.1 Coach Cherri Wolf 2.2 Stew 2.3 Iris Puffybush 2.4 Jimmy Tickles 2.5 Clair Noblet 2.6 Cassie Pines 3 Referenced Characters 3.1 Jerri's Real Mother 3.2 Nico 3.3 Ramon the Donkey 3.4 Seamus Noblet

Main Characters

Geraldine "Jerri" Antonia Blank

Geraldine "Jerri" Antonia Blank was born in 1953 to a drunken Aramapu squaw and traded for a pitcher of beer. She was adopted by Guy Blank and his wife. In 1967, Jerri dropped out of high school and ran away from home, her adoptive mother died and her adoptive father Guy slipped into a state similar to catatonia. Around 1984, Jerri was living in Florida, where she was beaten by a border guard and lost a tooth. Also in 1984, she became pregnant by either an overweight, harelipped bail bondsman or a Cuban. She gave birth to a child, Ricky (played by Frederick Koehler), and traded him for a guitar. She served a prison sentence because she (as worded in the introduction) "stole the TV." In 1999, Jerri returned to Flatpoint and re-enrolled in high school at the age of 46. Jerri Blank was portrayed by Amy Sedaris and appeared in all episodes.

Jerri is bisexual, claiming that she likes "the pole and the hole," and she attempts to seduce many male and female classmates over the course of the show. (When confronted with a particularly attractive girl, she will often growl, "Mmph! That's gotta be tight.") She is openly racist, often comparing her Filipino friend Orlando to a monkey, although her remarks aren't meant to cause offense (she thinks monkeys are adorable).

Jerri is not a very intelligent person, but she is a shrewd thief and resourceful drug addict (i.e. finding a vein, creating drugs from household cleaners, et cetera). Also, she is a violin prodigy, as seen in the episode "To Be Young Gifted and Blank". In that episode, she was also the timpanist for the school's orchestra. At the end of "Yes You Can't!", she is seen playing the drums for "Carry On My Wayward Son," perhaps leading the viewer to believe that she is a talented drummer as well. In Trail of Tears, Jerri proves herself to be an excellent "Indian" (in the culturally offensive sense): she's a great archer, scalper, and torch-thrower (getting settlers stoned).

Jerri seems to have quite a collection of wigs (her hairstyle changes constantly, growing longer or shorter within a single episode) and wears an inordinate amount of makeup. Sedaris intended her to look "like somebody who owns snakes" (which she does in an early episode). She has a very large genital piercing (which she calls "The Liberty Bell"), and sports tattoos across her knuckles ("Hard" on one hand, "Luck" on the other (though in some episodes, according to Amy Sedaris, the "L" in "Luck" is sometimes replaced with an "F"), a parody of Robert Mitchum's tattoos in Night of the Hunter). Despite all the effort she puts into her appearance and her own belief that she is quite sexy, over the course of the series she is frequently mistaken for an old man.

Early in the series Jerri had a different pet every episode, and these pets all died horribly.

Mr. Geoffrey Jellineck

Geoffrey Jellineck (pronounced JOFF-ree, as opposed to the more common JEFF-ree) is Jerri's flamboyant, narcissistic art teacher, portrayed by Paul Dinello. He appeared in all episodes, except "Blank Stare: Part 1." Jellineck has repeatedly stated he was a "confirmed bachelor," though he refers to imaginary children and a dead wife as part of his odd fantasy life, most notably in "A Burden's Burden." He revealed that he was wealthy after allegedly participating in his rich aunt's death in "A Price Too High for Riches," the season 2 finale, which must have happened after Season 2, Episode 3, "Yes You Can't," where Jellineck briefly becomes homeless after quitting his job. He and Chuck Noblet share a homosexual relationship, which is allegedly secret, although everyone but Blackman seems to know about it. Jellineck is superficially a very kind and sunny person (in the film he tells Jerri, "You can talk to me: I'm an authority figure, but I have the mind of a child!"), and he is generally very encouraging to Jerri. But just beneath the surface he has plenty of rage and despair, and these dark emotions surface with very little provocation. He has been bullied by his students and even by one of the school's teachers, although he is a pacifist (and a coward) and refuses to fight back. On one memorable occasion, Jellineck lost his face in a car accident, although it was eventually found and restored. After it was first reattached it nearly blew away in the wind, but otherwise he seems to have made a full recovery.

Mr. Charles "Chuck" Noblet

Chuck Noblet (Stephen Colbert) is Jerri's bitter history teacher who seems to make up almost everything that he teaches. (Example: "After his violent revolution, Gandhi was devoured by his followers.") The subject that he teaches changes often over the course of the series, and in the film he teaches science. He secretly desires to be a rock star, and appears to idolize the band Kansas in particular. He is also in a secret love affair with Jellineck, and frequently refers to his wife, Clair, to maintain his appearance of heterosexuality. He has a son, Seamus, who is mentioned but never seen in the series. Noblet will instantly abandon Jellineck in order to keep his own homosexuality a secret, but the two appear to have genuine feelings for each other; whenever their relationship is in trouble, Noblet will weep wretchedly.

Noblet appeared in all episodes except "The Virgin Jerri." In the final episode of the series, Noblet tells his class about the "hot, ass-thumping sex" that he and Jellineck enjoy; however the class was not paying attention since it was the final week of school. In an interview with Terry Gross, Colbert addressed the question of why Noblet is always so cruel to Jerri, saying that Noblet is miserably repressed and has built his entire life on lies, and is thus deeply threatened and resentful of Jerri for always asking questions and trying to figure her life out.

Principal Onyx Blackman

Onyx Blackman (Greg Hollimon) is the overly stern black principal of Flatpoint High who appeared in all 30 episodes. He was going through a divorce during "To Love, Honor and Pretend," stating he would not pay his wife any more alimony, because although he may have had a few indiscretions, he always kept the house clean. He rules Flatpoint High with an iron fist, insisting that his likeness be placed in as many prominent positions throughout the school as possible, including but not limited to the school letterman jackets, the buses, silk robes, every classroom, air fresheners, art projects, restrooms, paper towels, and even behind shelves.

Various episodes establish that Blackman has a gambling problem, is a little too devoted to his mother, and has a fetish for middle-aged white women. Blackman apparently enjoys a very active sex life (he is seen romancing several ladies during the course of the series, once even enjoying a romantic, candlelit dinner in his office in the middle of a school day). For some reason, he is one of the few people in the school who is absolutely clueless about Noblet and Jellineck's ongoing affair, even when confronted with fairly obvious evidence.

Guy Blank

Guy Blank (Roberto Gari) is Jerri's father, only shown in a motionless state during mid-action. (For example, carving a turkey or participating in a father-daughter sack race practice.) This is a direct parody of the apparent weakness and inaction of father figures in after-school specials. Guy appeared in the pilot and episodes "Old Habits - New Beginnings," "A Burden's Burden," "Who Wants Cake?," "Bogie Nights," "Feather in the Storm," and "Jerri is Only Skin Deep," until his death in the episode "The Goodbye Guy." Guy played the violin until the death of Jerri's mother, after which he developed a seeming hatred for the instrument. Evidence points to Guy Blank as being a racist; he evidently calls Principal Blackman by "an ugly word," requested that "no darkies" attend his funeral, and owned some KKK robes (Jerri discovered them in his closet after his death, although she was distracted and didn't seem to notice them, or else didn't care). Based on one picture Jerri finds after Guy's death, it appears that in the continuity of the show, it was Guy and not Steve McMichael who joined the 4 Horsemen professional wrestling stable in 1996. He is portrayed by Dan Hedaya in the movie. Removed from regular cast list after the first season, in later appearances credited as guest star.

Sara Blank

Sara Blank (Deborah Rush) is Jerri's alcoholic step-mother who favors her son over her step-daughter and has an ongoing affair with Stew, the meat man. While she is generally quite prim, she is also openly racist. She was in every episode except "Yes, You Can't," and "The Blank Page." She is quite disdainful of Jerri (in the Strangers movie, she told Stew, "I wouldn't want you to think that that slithered out of my womb,") but she delivers most of her lines with a sugary sweetness that hides much of her true venom. She makes no secret of wanting Jerri out of the house, but for some reason she goes along with the idea of Jerri as a high school kid and treats Jerri more like an unwanted teenage daughter than a 40something-year-old woman. Sara Blank was an actress when she was young and played Peter Pan in a stage production; when Jerri got a role in a high school play, Sara became very bitter, drunkenly sobbing, "Peter Pan has gotten old!" On one occasion, though, Sara seemed almost caring toward Jerri, taking an interest in who she was inviting to a dance, and offering to reinforce the "trouble spots" on her dress if it turned out Jerri took one of the violent students (she was very worried that Jerri would take the "new kid"). Removed from regular cast list after the first season, in later appearances credited as guest star.

While Sara and Derrick Blank seem to despise Jerri, when Jerri briefly vanished from their lives they made a big show of being worried and consoling each other; of course, every time the phone rang, they picked it up only to immediately hang it up again. Eventually, they cut the phone cord with a butcher knife.

Derrick Blank

Derrick Blank (Larc Spies) is Jerri's junior-varsity "jock" step-brother who is suspected of being a closeted homosexual. In one episode, "Is My Daddy Crazy?," he declined masturbating to a high school girl's pillowfight to read his "gladiator magazines," but was entranced by guest star Winona Ryder in the series finale "The Last Temptation of Blank." Another clue to his alleged homosexuality comes in "Is Freedom Free?" when Mr. Jellineck, sporting only a Speedo (because "it's Freedom Week"), declares that "he's going to go see Derrick." Jellineck, a closeted homosexual, would have little other reason to visit Derrick, especially in a Speedo.

He typically refers to Jerri as "plug" or "troll," and in several episodes he appears close to striking her but something always holds him back (on one occasion he perhaps came closest to the truth, when he sneered, "You're just lucky I'm a coward"). Derrick has a crew of jock friends, and they enjoy bullying blind kids and other unfortunates. On one occasion, after one of their targets verbally shot them down, Derrick suggested to his friends that they "go watch some gay porn and get our hate back!" He was in every episode except "Yes, You Can't," "The Blank Page," "To Love, Honor, and Pretend," and "Bully." Removed from the regular cast list after the first season, he is credited in later appearances as a guest star.

Joseph Cross plays Derrick in the movie. The Derrick of the film is a (slightly) more sympathetic character, as we witness his horror when Jerri marches into the Blank home and announces she's staying. In the film Jerri stabs Derrick in the hand with a fork (because he crossed her "chow zone"), reducing him to pathetic blubbering.

Orlando Pinatubo

Orlando Pinatubo is Jerri's best friend, a Filipino whom she constantly mocks because of his race. In the first season especially, he had a huge crush on Jerri, and was not above spreading rumors about her love interests to stop her from seeing them (as in Bogie Nights and Let Freedom Ring). Sadly, Jerri does not reciprocate his romantic feelings. Like Tammi Littlenut, he is very innocent, always expects the best of Jerri, and is crestfallen when she inevitably disappoints him. He is close to his family, and they hold "parties" where they dance and tell stories with their hands. In the final episode, Orlando and Tammi have both become obssesed with a Dungeons and Dragons-like role-playing game, perhaps their nerdiest development yet. Orlando is played by Orlando Abdo Pabotoy.

Tammi Littlenut

Tammi Littlenut is Jerri's best girlfriend. In most cases she is grounded and sane, providing a voice of reason and normalcy in the odd social structure of Flatpoint High, and tries to give Jerri good advice though she never takes it. Like Orlando, she is a very sweet and innocent person who never seems to grasp how sleazy Jerri truly is. However, in very rare instances, Tammi can be seen joining in with other Flatpointers in acts of bullying and paranoia (she joins in laughing at Glen the Bus Driver in The Blank Page, for instance). Additionally, in Invisible Love, she had a close romantic relationship with the school's science teacher. Frequently referred to as "Coppertop" and "Nuttage" or as a "Red-Headed Spitfire" by Jerri. Tammi occasionally brings out a more masculine side in Jerri: Jerri has become quite aggressive when defending Tammi from bullies, and when Tammi and Jerri were charged with taking care of a baby, Jerri quickly fell into the role of an emotionally abusive, deadbeat dad. According to Jerri, "the carpet matches the drapes." She is played by Maria Thayer.

Minor Characters

Coach Cherri Wolf

Coach Cherri Wolf is the Flatpoint gym coach and a suspected lesbian/bisexual who is played by Sarah Thyre. While she is depicted as a stereotypical "dyke" coach for most of the show's run, she apparently fell in love with Geoffrey Jellineck while they were pretending to be married during To Love, Honor, and Pretend, but he broke her heart when he left their fake marriage to go back to his secret relationship with Chuck Noblet. She claimed to be a virgin well into adulthood and preached abstinence to her students, but then she slept with a fiery Latino pizza chef in The Virgin Jerri. Coach Wolf also worked at the pizza parlor to make ends meet. Her class was rebuilt into a Sticky Bunnery in the last episode, and she got a job there, citing better pay and child care.

Stew

Stew is the lover that Sara Blank took after Guy Blank's death. He is married and has two children, Chuck and Patty. He is a "meat man," a butcher and meat delivery man, which is used as a basis for puns and other running gags throughout the series. In Is My Daddy Crazy?, he went temporarily insane and coated the house with cheese before his reflection fired him, and he was cured by Jerri drilling a hole through his skull. He is played by David Pasquesi.

He appeared in many episodes of the first and second seasons before Guy's death, in close relationship with Sara, leading many to strongly suspect they were having an affair. Even before Guy's death, he filled in the role of father to Jerri, first by being unthoughtful and emotionally abusive and then by being loving and attentive when he became completely insane.

Stew's name is intentionally spelled like the food, as is confirmed by his work shirt which has S-T-E-W on the nametag (seen in the movie and in episodes such as Feather in the Storm).

Iris Puffybush

Iris Puffybush is the school secretary in such episodes as To Love, Honor, and Pretend and Bully. She is played by Dolores Duffy, who sometimes pops up in other places during the show, such as a secretary in the doctor's office in Jerri's Burning Issue and a nurse in Hit and Run.

Jimmy Tickles

Jimmy Tickles is Tammi and Jerri's smallish and presumably homosexual friend. Often he is spontaneously beaten up by jocks for no definite reason, though his beatings often follow particularly flamboyant dialogue or actions of Jimmy's (his repeated phrase, "I'm so jazzed!" often directly led to his being beaten up). Jerri forced him to have sex with her in the girls bathroom at the end of the episode "The Virgin Jerri." Early appearances, also before the beatings, showed him as being a relatively heterosexual, straight-laced student. Jimmy Tickles is played by Jack Ferver.

Clair Noblet

Clair Noblet is Chuck Noblet's wife, who is only seen twice in the series. It's believed that she and Chuck have a strained marriage, and she seems to exist only as his beard. In one scene, Chuck asks her if she wants to have sex; she says no, and he is relieved and can then fall asleep. She is played by Carolyn Popp in the series and by Evelyn McGee (Stephen Colbert's actual wife) in the movie.

Cassie Pines

Cassie Pines is the student counselor at Flatpoint High, and as such, her first responsibility is, of course, to the teachers. She openly despises the students and clearly hates her job, giving horrible advice to Jerri after her father died. At the end of the series, she got a job in the Sticky Bunnery alongside Coach Wolfe. She is played by Janeane Garofalo.

Referenced Characters

Jerri's Real Mother

Jerri's real mother was a Native American. She traded her infant daughter for a pitcher of beer. Jerri's mother was seen (portrayed by Amy Sedaris) in a photograph in Trail of Tears.

Nico

Nico was Jerri Blank's pimp during her days as a prostitute, and in "Bogie Nights" she refers to a man named Nico as her preferred car mechanic. The name resurfaces occasionally in the series; it's possible that Jerri's Nico is the same Nico that would be Principal Blackman's bookie. If all of these Nicos are the same, its possible that Jerri still remains friends with her former pimp, as she either gets good deals on car parts and maintenance from him or does not speak too disparagingly of him when he used to beat her.

Ramon the Donkey

Ramon was Jerri's partner in the Tijuana Donkey Show. She sometimes refers to him longingly, missing her days in the show, and follows it with her catch-phrase "good times..."

Seamus Noblet

Seamus is Chuck and Clair Noblet's young son. He is mentioned at various points, notably in "A Burden's Burden" when Noblet and Jellineck are acting out their fantasy of being married men meeting for the first time and having sex in the boys' bathroom, and in "To Love, Honor, and Pretend", when his mother mentions he is sick in bed with the chicken pox.

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